Stealing His Nuts
by KillforKlondike
Summary: Naruto has decided to do some training so he can beat Kakashi...though Sakura is less than enthusiastic about his methods. *Was a oneshot but was inspired to do a second after a review I got! Hope you enjoy it.
1. Naruto's 'Training'

"What in the name of all things holy are you doing?" I asked, trying to not lose my temper with the idiot in front of me. "I'm getting ready for the next training session with Kakashi-sensei, Sakura-chan!" I stared for a good two minutes and decided to ask a question that I'm sure I don't want to know the answer to. "And what the hell would a training session have to do with trying to take a squirrel's nuts?"

The before mentioned idiot was currently clinging to a tree branch, harassing a very pissed off looking squirrel. "I would say I hope it gives you rabies but then I'd be the one that has to deal with it." He looked down at me, grinning that familiar yet oh so very irritating smile that made me want to smack him. "Come on Sakura-chan! If I can take its nuts away then I'm getting better at evading and agility." And again I stared at him, not saying a word and trying to take in the glory of all that was his simple thought process. "Naruto, you realize that you are comparing the skill of beating a squirrel to beating a former Anbu." I watched as he stopped moving, seeming at least to be thinking those facts over. Wait for it…wait for it… "Sakura-chan, do you think I should take all of the nuts or just one?" And there it is.

"…I really hope that squirrel bites you."


	2. Naruto Vs Wild

I got a review from Mayumi Crescent Moon about how short the first part of the story was and while I was at work the wheels of inspiration began to turn. Amazing what can happen when you're drying silverware, no? So, after thinking it over, this is what I decided happened afterwards.

Naruto still belongs to one Masashi Kishimoto. Who is still not me. Still damn.

* * *

"I knew I was going to be the one that had to deal with this." I grumbled under my breath and applied more antiseptic to the last of the twenty-something bite wounds on Naruto's arm. "Ah, come on Sakura-chan, it's not all bad. At least I got three of the nuts!" I rolled my eyes and 'accidentally' tightened the wrap around the wounded limb. "Yes, I am so sure Kakashi-sensei would be proud. Maybe next time you should go play with the guard dogs. And I'm sure Jiraiya-sama would be getting a kick out of this as well if he were here." He scowled at that. "If pervy sage were here I wouldn't have to be training with squirrels. Itai, Sakura-chan!"

With one last tug of the bandage to keep it in place, I looked over to the little cage were I had put the squirrel. It was currently banging its head against the sides and making the most awful sounds I'd ever heard an animal make. And…its eyes were glowing red…and was now sporting more tails… "Naruto, what is that thing?!" I shrieked as it began to gnaw through the metal bars. It was soon out and sitting on the counter of the room, staring at us as if daring us to move. "Naruto, don't make any fast movements. I'm going to try to distract it." "SWEET! A DEMON SQUIRREL! NOW THAT'S A CHALLENGE!" And with that Konoha's Number One Knuckle-Head Ninja pounced the satanic mammal and tried to wrestle it down.

"TSUNADE-SAMA, SOMEBODY, HELP!" I yelled and yanked Naruto back but the squirrel had dug it's now razor sharp teeth into his shoulder and convulsing wildly. Tsunade ran into the room and saw what had to have been some mad dream she'd drank herself into. "Naruto, Sakura, what the hell is going on?!" She yelled at the both of us, and I felt myself relax just a little. If anyone could deal with this, it was the fifth hokage. "The squirrel that bit Naruto went crazy and I don't know how to stop it!" I tried to explain while also doing my best to stay out of Naruto's way. Said boy had a death grip on the squirrel's body and was trying to pull the thing off of himself as he tore around the room screaming profanities.

"Oh for the love of…GET OVER HERE!" Tsunade-sama grabbed Naruto by the shoulder opposite the antichrist of squirrels, gripped its tails, and gave a great yank. Instantly the squirrel let go and was now hanging upsidown, chattering at Tsunade as she restrained it. Naruto had stopped moving altogether, mouth open and what seemed to be…tears in his eyes? "Naruto, are you okay?" I asked as I cautiously approached him. He blinked a couple times before seeming to think of something to say…. **"SHIT!"**

Later on, after Tsunade-sama had knocked out the little animal and made sure it had gone back to normal before letting it go, I went to see Naruto. Unfortunately, I couldn't find him no matter where I looked, even Ichiraku's. After a few more minutes of searching I heard yelling coming my way. I looked and saw something that made me wish_** I'd **_drunk myself into a mad dream. Hauling down the street with a steak in each hand was Naruto followed by several very pissed off and demonic dogs.

" I WAS KIDDING ABOUT THE GUARD DOGS YOU BAKA!"

* * *

I think I had way too much fun writing this part. Hope you liked it!


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